Attachment Style Test

How you bond, worry, and pull away in close relationships follows patterns laid down early — and they are measurable. This test scores you on the two dimensions researchers actually use: attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance.

Answer for how you generally experience romantic relationships — not just one current or past partner. If you have never been in one, answer how you imagine you would feel.

1. I worry that romantic partners won't care about me as much as I care about them.
2. I prefer not to show a partner how I feel deep down.
3. I often worry that a partner will not want to stay with me.
4. I find it difficult to allow myself to depend on romantic partners.
5. My desire to be very close sometimes scares people away.
6. I feel comfortable sharing my private thoughts and feelings with my partner.
7. I worry a lot about my relationships.
8. I am very comfortable being close to romantic partners.
9. When my partner is out of sight, I worry they might become interested in someone else.
10. I find it relatively easy to get close to my partner.
11. I need a lot of reassurance that I am loved by my partner.
12. I try to avoid getting too close to a partner.
13. If I can't get my partner to show interest in me, I get upset or angry.
14. I get uncomfortable when a romantic partner wants to be very close.
15. I often want to merge completely with romantic partners, and this sometimes scares them away.
16. It helps to turn to my romantic partner in times of need.
17. When a partner gets too close, I tend to pull away.
18. I resent it when my partner spends time away from me.

Your answers never leave this browser — scoring happens on your device.

The four attachment styles

Modern attachment research (building on Bowlby and Ainsworth, and measured in adults by instruments like the ECR) describes styles as combinations of two dimensions. Attachment anxiety is about fear of rejection and abandonment, and the need for reassurance. Attachment avoidance is about discomfort with closeness and emotional dependence. Low on both is the secure style. High anxiety alone gives the anxious (preoccupied) style; high avoidance alone the avoidant (dismissive) style; high on both is fearful-avoidant.

Two honest caveats. First, a style is a tendency, not a verdict — most people are somewhat different with different partners, and styles can shift with experience and therapy (“earned security” is a real research term). Second, this questionnaire was written for this site in the spirit of the ECR framework; it is a self-reflection tool, not a clinical instrument.

This test is for self-reflection and education. It does not diagnose any condition, and attachment style is not a mental disorder. If relationship patterns are causing you significant distress, a therapist who works with attachment can help far beyond any quiz.

Frequently asked questions

Can my attachment style change?

Yes. Longitudinal research finds attachment is moderately stable, not fixed — it responds to relationships, therapy, and major life experiences. Knowing your pattern is usually the first step in shifting it, which is why 'earned secure attachment' is a documented outcome.

Is one style 'bad'?

No style is a character flaw, and every style is an adaptation to something. Insecure styles come with predictable friction — reassurance loops for anxious styles, distance for avoidant ones — but friction is workable, especially when both partners can name the pattern.

Should I answer about my current partner or in general?

In general. Attachment research asks about your overall experience in close relationships, because the pattern is what repeats across them. If one relationship was very unusual (much better or much worse than the rest), average across your experience.

Are my answers private?

Yes. Your style is computed in your browser and saved only in this browser's local storage. Nothing is uploaded, and you can delete your history from My Results at any time.

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Your results from every tool are saved only in this browser — see them together on My Results.